DATING FOR DEAD PEOPLE

WHOA A QUESTION! I haven’t updated in months!! I’d love to tell you that I’ve been so busy shooting a movie in Morocco with Ryan Gosling or trying to cover up my Emma Stone murder but neither of those are true. Yet. I pretty much just forgot about this blog. I’ve also been preoccupied tweeting at Cher but she WON’T EVER TWEET ME BACK. But apparently the internet is still a thing so everything is going to be alright.

But none of this is what you asked in the first place. So let’s get into that shall we?

WOOF. An unfunny comedian? Would you date and accountant that couldn’t add? A dentist with fucked up teeth? A pizza maker that puts dumb shit on your pizza*? PROBABLY NOT (*I love sausage but get that shit off of my fuckin’ pizza!)

However, assuming he’s a really nice guy and reliable and thoughtful and caring and doesn’t make you go to all of his 12am open mic shows it could still work! Who knows! Your funny could rub off on him or his sense of humor could grow on you! If you don’t piss yourself from laughing every time he tells a joke, IT’S OK. If you love spending time with him, fuck it! That’s what’s important. But if he’s the asshole that’s still quoting Anchorman AND blowing you off all the time, kick his tiny dick to the curb. No one loves lamp that much.

Yours truly (or until the next time I forget about this blog,)

Allison

First of all, sorry it took so long to answer your question, A Nom! It’s not you, it’s me.

This question could garner a long- winded response. However, I would just like to keep it simple.

Love:

Lust:

Love is In N Out, Lust is when you Google Image search, “Pizza Burger”

May love find you in ketchup form,

Allison <3

It depends! Do you cum out of your mouth? If so that’s fucking disgusting. I would focus on something un-sexy, like Wendy William’s feet, to keep that cream popsicle wrapped up and in the freezer.

Best Wishes!